The more compelling it is to understand this situation for children, the more compelling it is to tell the child for adults.
It is quite understandable that you have difficulties in how to give the news of death and that you have many questions in your mind.
The news of death is in a safe and quiet place; should be given by an adult that the child knows, trusts and can be there later.
When telling death to children note the following:
Be honest: You can mention that it is difficult for you to give this news, too. If the conditions are right, do not delay giving the news of death and do not lie.
Be clear: It is important to tell the truth using clear and simple language appropriate for the child's age. Avoid uncertain expressions and uncertain language as this can confuse the child and make it difficult to understand what is going on.
Use age-appropriate language: Use language that is appropriate for the child's age and developmental level.
children under 12 years old; They may have difficulty understanding abstract concepts. Using expressions such as "we lost / became an angel / God took him" while giving the news of death can make it difficult for children to understand the situation. It is important to explain in more tangible and clear terms and to use the word death. You can explain to the child what he knows about death beforehand and give examples of natural events (fading of flowers, death of animals, etc.) based on his knowledge. You can comfort and explain according to your faith (e.g., 'If you pray for him, he can feel it')
children over 12 years old; can understand abstract concepts better, but approach the child with a compassionate attitude that accompanies the child emotionally and try to answer any questions.
It may take time for children to make sense of and accept death. They may ask you questions over and over again. Try to answer their questions with compassion and patience.
Be prepared for a range of emotions: Children may react in a variety of ways, such as sadness, anger, confusion and denial, or they may be unresponsive, pretending nothing has happened. Try to answer their questions and be prepared to provide confidence and support. Do not use sentences that prevent children from expressing their feelings, such as 'You are brother/sister must be strong', 'He wouldn't want you to be upset either'. Make space for the child to show their feelings with expressions such as 'you can be sad, you can cry'.
Funeral ceremony: You can leave the decision to come to the funeral to the child's choice, but beforehand, information should be given about the ceremony according to the age of the child. (E.g. we will gather there to say goodbye and pray for him). Afterwards, it is recommended to visit the cemetery whenever the child wants.
Children may worry about what will happen in the future. Tell them they are safe and that you will try to be there for them. Reassure them that they are loved and that there are people to help them through these difficult times.
Continuation of daily routines will reinforce the feeling of trust in the child. Continue your daily life as much as possible and include the child in it.
Get professional help if needed: If children are having more and more difficulty handling with their loss and the process is taking longer, it may be helpful to get help from a mental health professional.
Telling a child about the death of a loved one is a challenging experience for anyone.
We're sorry there isn't an easy way to do this.
Don't forget to look at your own feelings while making room for the child's feelings. Treat yourself with the same sensitivity, compassion and understanding.